Say it ain't so. It's over? Please say it ain't so. I need Ben in my life. Straight or not, I just need him on my screen...
Well, I guess the time has come. "Make me a Supermodel" has ended and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. Last night we finally got to know who won a contract with New York Model Management, $ 100,000 and a fashion pictorial in GQ magazine by winning "Make me a Supermodel".
The final assignment for the four remaining models, Holly Kiser, Ben DiChiara, Ronnie Kroell Jr. and Perry Ullmann was to get a taste of what a working model's day is like by going through a series of go- sees, but as America had already voted who was going to win, it didn't make much sense.
Brands as Esprit, People's Revolution and Rebecca Beeson had a look at the models and told Jennifer Starr what they thought about each model. Kinda boring, the only fun thing about it was the Ginch Gonch casting where Ronnie and Ben had to present some sexy Ginch Gonch underwear, pretending to be a monkey. The Ginch Gonchers didn't say exactly what they wanted, so Ben decided to be the silly monkey, jumping around with his banana as if he had gotten no sleep for weeks while Ronnie played some kind of a sexual monkey, using the banana more as a phallic symbol. Surprisingly the Ginch Gonch Guys were more impressed by Ronnie. His statement about not being uncomfortable with other guys touching him probably helped a lot. I don't wanna know how all the other Ginch Gonch models got their appointments.
Perry seeemed to be really annoying by constantly talking "over me, talking about himself and what he knows" (Anita Bitton - Establishment Casting) and Holly came across as "being adorable but also being in desperate need of voice lessons." (Linda Godlove - Godlove Casting)
Later that day the models had dinner with Jennifer Starr and Jessica Stam. Does anybody know Jessica Stam? Holly apparently does as she claims to be "her biggest fan", actually knowing that Jessica is from Canada and is in the fashion industry. Wow. That's some shocking information. Personally I don't know her, but as Perry said "I don't know her name but she's gorgeous." And even Ben seemed to have a little crush on her. That's when she lost me. Hooker. Currently I love calling every chick I don't like a hooker.. Thanks do Destiney Moore. She's my hooker...
Next up was a meeting with GQ at GQ's Condé Nast office. As one of the aspiring models would get a pictorial in GQ Magazine they put them all in outfits they had already set up to see how they fit and if the boys (and the tomboy) feel comfortable wearing it. Perry didn't seem to fit into the suits he was supposed wear because of his "difficult fit and his broad shoulders" and Holly just didn't look sexy. PERIOD. They should've kept it that way. In one Lacoste dress she put on she looked kinda cute, but that was it. And just because of that one dress, all of a sudden they were impressed. She still looked like a boy with a stuffed bra to me.
Ronnie delivered by looking great in the Ralph Lauren outfit GQ had chosen for him and Ben "was really fun, having so much personality" but unfortunately was a litte stiff when taking the polaroid.
Back home the finalists got to know that some surprise visitors were on their way to their New York home and the first surprise we got to see before the break was April, Ben's wife. Did I want to see her? HELL NAW! I think she's a cute a cute girl and she even replied to my message on MySpace, but I just don't want to like her since she is the chain that bonds Ben to heterosexuality. Holly's comment same as Ben's reaction were priceless.
Holly: "Divorce papers!"
Ben: "Wuzzzuup!"
April: "I missed you so much, I love you Baby."
Ben: "Loveya2, welcome to New York!"
So April was crying her ass off and the first thing Ben shows her is his "Bronnie"- Shirt he got on the (most boring) reunion show (ever), telling April that Ronnie "is his boy." You know he is, sweetheart, you know it.... April continued to tell Ben that she's "ready for everything to be over and for it to be normal again", but what she didn't know was Ben's plans about moving to New York. Not having seen the reunion sucks, doesn't it? And if all that wasn't fun enough, there comes Ronnie, trying to get them socializing, getting to know April aka The Obstacle. "Awkwaaaard." (Ronnie)
Being single (and happy about it) Ronnie had his adorable Mom visiting, Holly got her fiancé Ray and guess who was coming to see Perry? Britney Amanda! Remember Amanda? The chick that "cuddled" with Adnan Ghalib while her boyfriend was trying to build a foundation for their future? Everybody.... 1, 2, 3.... HOOKER! Unfortunately, dick- driven Perry got hypnotized by Medusa very soon and they reunited. being girlfriend and boyfriend again. I think they deserve each other.
Next I had some weird déja- vù: GROUP HUG! Remember Christian, Rami and... wait... damn, what was her name... Jillian! (thanks Google) group hugging again and again? So annoying. Maybe it's just my desperate need of some physical relationship.
So the time had come, Ronnie, Ben, Holly and Perry had to leave their home of three months, taking away three months of everlasting memories. "We've had so many great times in this room. (You know you did, those bitch*s at BravoTV just edited it out), I'm gonna miss goin' to bed every night and just calling over to Ben..." (Ronnie) What am I supposed to say? Going to bed every night, calling over to some low resolution pic of Ben.
One last time the four finalists had to prepare their catwalk and I actually got teary eyed. And getting teary eyed is not easy when you're stopping the show every 30 seconds to take another screencap. But I did.
Finally it was time for the ultimate decision. "Perry and Holly, one of you is about to leave the catwalk.... Perry, we can not make you a supermodel." Yay.
"Ben and Ronnie. The bromance is over. One of you is going to leave the catwalk right now.... Ben, we can not make you a supermodel." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Alrighty, so Ronnie has to win to pay our Hawaii home....
"Ronnie and Holly, one of you will be made into a supermodel....... Holly, America has made you into a supermodel! Congratulations!" What the...? What... I mean... what??? America, I thought we were friends? Ah hell naw....
Ronnie didn't even get the chance to say goodbye appropriately as everyone already celebrated Holly's victory the same time all my dreams of moving to Hawaii with Ben and Ronnie were destroyed. Don't know what to say. I dreamed the gay dream until the very last minute and then... *poof*. Argh.
Nevertheless I really enjoyed that show and I am more than glad that I didn't miss one single minute, this bromance was something I needed in my life, inspiring and joyful as it was, making me smile at least once a week. Maybe there'll be a second season and Bronnie, being the two contestants who had improved the most, will be involved in some kinda way?
I'll definitely be watching. I'll miss you.
4/04/2008
Make me a Supermodel. Season 1. Finale - Episode 13 Recap.
The Bromance is over.
Holly Kiser won "Make me a Supermodel". I'm disappointed. I really thought Ben could take this home. At least Perry didn't win. Now Amanda can try to get some money out of Adnan. Hooker.
I'm off to work, recap is going to follow tonight. Have a nice day :o)
3/23/2008
Make me a Supermodel. Season 1. Episode 11. Recapped.
Take that! *planlaugh*muahahahaha*/planlaugh* I miss Phoebe Buffay so much. What was my post about?... Oh right... The MANGINA! It's also about everything else that happened on Episode 11 of Make me a Supermodel, but that MANGINA. Man...
But we're not there yet. First Shannon had to be eliminated. Although she "knew she had more right to be there than Ronnie did." Seems like the Shan doesn't know much. And again I was applauding my ass off. Seems like me and "America" do think alike a lot, Ben and Ronnie made Top 4 and that was all I was asking for. Yay!
Hollys face was priceless, now being the most feminine out of all the boys obviously pissed her off. But soon she realized that she's "becoming a boy now." I told her before. She didn't listen. MANGINA!
The shock didn't last that long because Tyson decided to bring in one of his friends and there she was. A black girl in a fancy outfit, looking cute. I was like "Oh great, another one of Tysons stupid dates pretending to be a professional model..." I didn't realize that it was Naomi Campbell until her name was shown on the screen. Didn't look much like her. However she looked gorgeous, her hair even flew in a windless room. I got a little jealous when Ben told everyone that she smelled great. You haven't smelled my armpits yet, honeyhunk. *planlaugh*ewww hew hew hew hew hew*/planlaugh*
Their last photo assignment was about the natural elements, earth, air, water and fire that they had to portray completely naked. MANGINA is on her way. Holly didn't really like the idea of being naked in front of the boys because "they're just little perverts." Come on, butch, as if any of them would look at you. Ben and Ronnie aren't interested in boobies and Perrys soon to be ex girlfriend suck*d Adnan Ghalibs di*k. She's better than Holly Kiser, Holly Kiser...
Then there was some strange situation when the photographer wanted Ben to get naked. "I need to cut your underwear off." This guy didn't seem to have much of a plan how to remove underwear without destroying it. Either he's been wearing his own underwear for years now or he's just used to some very expensive lifestyle, cutting his underwear every night before going to bed. I can just guess that they had already put the make- up on.... Bens legs... ??? Kinda MANGINA.
Matthew Rolston, photog of the day, really seemed to like Ben. He praised his "strong male power in combination with sensuality, his willingness and collaborativeness" and told that "pretty much every shot they had done had been incredible." That's what I needed to hear. My boy finally comes out of his shell. Naked.
Holly was "fire". First pictures of her were taken, than this burning doll head was photographed to photoshop the pictures to one later. It took me some time to realize that it wasn't Holly burning, the doll had almost as much personality and sass as Holly.
After expressing concerns about Hollys body (I had concerns too, the body just doesn't look like a real man) it was MANGINA time! See picture at the very top. And no one explained why Perry had to tuck his di*k. Again I can only guess and this time my explanation would be Perry being a little too excited. Knowwhatimean... Happiness showing in the wrong areas... at the wrong time... or something like that. However Perrys physique was amazing, ignoring MANGINA he almost looked hot.
Ronnie Mark Rolston described as "masculine grace at its finest" and "the god of the wood" (portraying "earth", posing with some brushwood) so it was Hollys time to show her amazingly funny side: "Ey Ronnie. Got wood?" *yawn* Well... I guess that was funny, but I already heard that joke from Bart Simpson, so it was just another lame Holly moment.
Later Matthew Rolston held a vernissage at his gallery, showing the best images on big screens to the whole Make me a Supermodel panel and other important people. They all got to see MANGINA. I don't like Perry but kudos to him for not running out of the gallery crying and screaming like a little girl whose diary just had been read in front of the whole class. MANGINous.
The catwalk assignment was to work 3 winning looks, including everything the wannabe supermodels had learned yet. Again the judges brought someone to help them out with their walk and I was so hoping to see Miss J., but MMASM and ANTM are not criss- crossing. MMASM and Project Runway do. So there was MANGINA! I mean FEROCIA COUTURA! I mean Christian Siriano! I was jumping on my chair like a little kid on a bad sugar trip, the gays were finally taking over the whole show!
Christians comments, Christians faces and Christians body language were ferosh as usual, the only thing I didn't like was his advice to Ronnie, who looked like "trying to win Miss America." It was "Just be more straight!" What?? That out of Ferocias mouth? The last thing we wanna be is straight... MANGINA! I still love Christian. Is he available?
In the end no one was put up for the vote, "who of you will win Make me a Supermodel is now out of our hands." So next week there'll be the final episode? I thought another Holly contestant would be eliminated first... I almost had tears in my eyes when they were talking about "what a trip to get here" it had been, so many beautiful memories (is memories a countable noun?), I don't want it to end! *sniff*
So be sure to check out next weeks episode of Make me a Supermodel, I'm not quite sure whether it'll be the final episode or if there'll be a recap of the previous episodes, I just want Ben to win so bad. He'll be able to buy a love nest for him and Ronnie! And a pool house on the same property where I can move in. Ben, if you're reading: I'd prefer Hawaii. But I'll leave the decision to you.
Sorry April, I'm just daydreaming, listening to "Bad Girl" by Danity Kane in infinite loop, having my third beer, wearing sunglasses at night. Literally. Don't let it be over so soon...
3/19/2008
This is too much.
Yesterday I found this video of Ben and April DiChiara on YouTube. It's a slide show of photos of the two of them, accompanied by a beautiful song I don't know. The video quality is bad, but you get an idea. I'm melting. Again. For once I won't say anything against that marriage. Although the pics would be two times as cute replacing April with Ronnie. Oh no, I still did it... I can't help it.
If you can take more of all that gorgeousness, visit Bens picture- filled MySpace.
Another *breathing into paper bag* moment.
3/15/2008
"Make as much money as you can and get the hell out!"
Tyson Beckford being interviewed by "About Reality TV"... Seems like he isn't too eager to be part of a possible second season ;o)
"I'm like a rebel and for me, it's like working for corporate America, which I'm not used to doing."
" Me, I'm not really so concerned with good TV."
"Did you get any tips from Tyra Banks? Did you talk to her about this show at all?
-No. What I need tips from her for?"
Click here to read the full interview.
3/14/2008
Make me a Supermodel. Season 1. Episode 10. Recapped.
[Last hug?]
[To get to all of my screen captures, click here.]
So for weeks now I've been waiting for the gay romance on "Make me a Supermodel" and it's just not happening. And then they put Ronnie and Ben in the bottom three? Damn, was I pissed... But I knew that Casey didn't have a s*it on my two sweet cuddling bears. So he got auf'd. And as if he knew it he proved his strange sense of fashion by wearing an "I was hired for my looks"- shirt. Did he get that joke right? It doesn't make sense on you, honey. And this Napoleon jacket? Auf Wiedersehen..
So Ronnie and Ben both were safe and having diagnosed, that they are "their own worst obstacles" (oh yes you are, Mr. and Ms. Uptight) I thought now it's really time for a kiss. And I am talking about french kissing. Tongue all over the place. Saliva. Gay passion! And what did they do? Hug! Ugh. There's just too much composure, you really are your own worst obstacles.
Before they left the runway Cory told Ben that in his eyes America made the wrong decision this time. Ouch. Last time they didn't even discuss that question. Mean man. So Perry lost his last roommate. Trying to play nice he looked awful. And then Holly was complaining about "Ronnie getting an attitude lately" just after pretending to shoot the boys one after another and talking about how much "the girls" dislike "the boys". What's their problem? Are they jealous because they have not found true love in this competition? So immature.
[The proud face.]
Introducing the next challenge Tyson talked about "traveling around the world as a model" and stuff like that and I was completely excited where they were going to go. Maybe to the Carribean, doing some naked photoshoot at the beach? Or to New Zealand, doing some naked photoshoot at the beach? Or to Cyprus, doing some naked photoshoot on the beach? Or to Russia, doing some naked photoshoot on the... ummm.. Red Square? And then Tyson announced they're going to.... *drum roll*..... New Orleans. Pfffffffffft. Well.. you can get naked in New Orleans, too.. I guess. At least it's Bens hometown so he gave his happiest smile in a long time.
After that "huge surprise" Tyson wanted to talk to Perry and again it was about his girlfriend Amanda making out with Adnan Ghalib. Who wants to know about Perry Ullmanns private life? Ben is having much more difficult issues not knowing how to tell his wife that he's gay, but Tyson is not talking about that. And you know why? Because his wife is not Adnan Ghalib! Dayum.. Inside Perry probably was excited because Adnan and his girlfriend met at Perry house, so Britney Spears' boyfriend has been to his house and his house has been on the National Enquirer.
Arriving at Hotel Monte Leone and getting to their rooms Perry instantly claimed the single bed so Ronnie and Ben were forced to sleep together in one bed. Yeah right. They just edited it that way. Later Perry revealed the truth by telling that Ben was desperate to sleep with Ronnie in the same bed and so he was "Alright, that's cool, I'll make that sacrifice." And what's Bens reaction to Perry revelation? He goes to Perry and punches him right into his crutch. He will take every opportunity to get to a mans crotch. He has to make up 23 years. The one thing I didn't want to see though was Perry scratching his balls. But I guess the viewer has to make sacrifices, too.
The New Orleans photoshoot assignment was to create a gothic scene amongst the graves of the Lafayette Cemetery and to showcase very deep emotions without moving too much. And I was like "Nooooo.... Ben's not good at body language and facial expressions... He's good at getting naked. Get him to Russia RIGHT. NOW!" but surprisingly he did very well. He did a great job giving some cemetery- inspired faces and even incorporating Dennis the crow into the shoot he did a great job and held strong although Dennis tried to eat him and after failing with that he shit on his jacket. But as Ronnie said: Bird shit brings good luck.
Other than Ben the photographer didn't like Perry, Ronnie and Shannon too much. Ronnie was too stiff, Perry had a tendency of being too severe and Shannon was "too dead", pretending to be dead. Shannon really sucked. She lay/ stood there, bored as hell, so one could think she actually really is a dead corpse. But that was not the task. Ronnie also didn't like Shannons overall performance, but analyzing every little fart she did he almost got a little annoying to me.
Getting to dinner the first course was turtle soup. I would've rejected it and so did Perry because he owns a turtle, but Holly didn't seem to understand how one could reject turtle soup. "We kill squirrels in our house. We make squirrel gravy. Okay?" Oooh, you dirty country tomboy. Wonder if you can combine squirrel gravy with fried pig feet. Delicious.
Next day the remaining 5 models were taken to some property where hurricane Katrina had destroyed everything. And being able to use their model status for a good cause the task was to help to build a home for Sherry, who had lost everything. I mean, that's a great tragedy and a good cause and all that but my man Ben wearing some loincloth that said "Help build!" working his hammer and creating a house out of wood wearing that tight little shirt... I am still breathing into my paper bag.
For the runway they had to choreograph an own dark and dramatic show. Shannon came up with the idea of "being a high priestess and everybody wanting to kill each other." I'd say it got a little weird. This guy who had been on the "Meet the Models"- Show whose name I can't remember got the point: "People don't do shows like that anymore." The show looked kinda awkward and the plastic skull didn't help it at all, but at least Ben seemed to have found "his thing."
Cory told Ben that he did "really really well", his "stiffness worked out to his advantage this time" and for the first time they really saw versatility in Bens face and so Ben was safe for this week. But again he didn't win because of squirrel killing eager beaver Holly. I'm annoyed by those girls. Shannon and Ronnie are up for the vote and I just hope that Americas sees Shannon as the bitter party pooper I see her.
Get that Shannon out! And no Adnan next week. Puh- leeeeze.
3/07/2008
Make me a Supermodel. Season 1. Episode 9. Recapped.
[To get to all of my screen captures please return tomorrow, I'll upload them tonight]
After Christian won his fierce check, I really thought me and the reality TV goddess were cool again.. But someone up there really seems to love messing with me.
Ben, Frankie and Casey were up for the vote and America had decided who can't be made into a supermodel. Tyson was not looking as tight as usual, just wearing a black shirt. I was a little disappointed in my latest fashion prototype. Whatever, Frankie had to go. So far so good, although I totally would get Frankie into my bedroom if I'd ever get a chance, I didn't like his arrogance and all that childish behavior was just a little too much. No 100 grand for your chick...
Back home Shannon was really excited about Frankie being eliminated as she did not have to listen to his "combination of Fran Drescher, a dolphin and a blender- laugh". Later Tyson announced, that it's Niki Taylors birthday and that they are throwing a huge party for her. Therefore the boys decided to create a little serenade and the girls made a cake while arguing with the boys. Again Cannon Shannon got kinda bitchy. "So I'm here and unfortunately I have to do this with a number of jerks and thats... umm... unfortunate." Don't know what she had stepped into, but her mood was kinda weird that day.
Then we got to Niki Taylors birthday party. So that's how Niki Taylor celebrates birtday.. Candles and balloons.. Compared to that my last birthday party feels like total superstardom. All the party guests had a great time when the boys where whining their serenade but Shannon had a feeling that "Niki liked the cake much better as she had something to take home with her." This chick got issues.
Their first challenge this week was a video shoot for some client I had never heard of before. Although they all were like "Wooooow!" I'm sure half of them haven't, either. For the shoots they were paired up as the director thought it was the best match and therefore they had to try out different combinations. And there it was. The moment I've been waiting for since Episode 1. Since Episode 0, if "Meet the Models" counts. The task was to create a situation of two lovers making out, just getting ready to go to their private room. Ben was standing there and out of nothing he suggested "You can pair me up with Ronny!" YES! He confessed! Without thinking the truth finally slipped out of his cute mouth and thank god the photographer was not as prude as bigot Holly and gave it a try. And both of them were enjoying it so much, you could feel the sexual eruption right there. Well, at least I could feel it. But just before they were about to get naked and show all of those stiff deadheads how real love is execute, the photographer interrupted and replaced Ronnie with Holly. YOU STUPID ASS, YOU! I could have jumped into my screen and choke him right there. But at least he gave me one minute of pure gay joy. I'm sure they continued what had been started later that day.
Next day the models had to get up at 7:30 AM to get to Bloomingdale's where they had to be brand amabassadors for that day. They had to select outfits and learn every single fact about the clothes they were wearing, then they had to present it to this Bloomingdale's chick and she decided whether the models were presenting their outfits to real clients or not. Ronnie almost didn't pass the test by using the "p- word". Did anyone know, that "polyester" is the "p- word"? At least they didn't censor it so I got to know the "p- word". And then Mrs. Bloomingdale announces "You all may go out. Except Ben." What?? I mean..... what? Mean whore! Go Destiney, give it to her! (imagine "Mrs. Bloomingdale" instead of "Kristy Joe") You also can replace "Kristy Joe" by "Jennifer Starr", being asked if she thought that Ben would have been able to handle that situation, she said "No." Mean whore! How can you not even give him a chance to prove you... right... Ugh.
In the end Mrs. Bloomingdale was very satisfied with all of them saying that she'd hire them all right now. And she would have hired Ben, too, if she knew about his emotional struggles and sexual confusion.
This weeks runway walk was about embodying the brand they were wearing, unfortunately no one told them anything about the brands. At least it wasn't shown. So how do you embody Ralph Lauren, if you don't know what the brand stands for? Try to walk like a Ralph Lauren walks? Whatever. Again I was disappointed in my cute little black fashion guru. What was up with that tie? First I thought it was fruit, then I saw it was some funny flowers, which didn't make it better at all. In the changing room we saw Ben wearing white and orange Ginch Gonch briefs. What married, straight male would wear white and orange Ginch Gonch briefs? Another clue, Ben, another clue.. A little too obvious for me. I think he wants us all to know about his new preference without actually telling.
In the end Holly got winner of the week, Shannon and Perry were safe, Ronnie, Ben and Casey are up for the vote. I couldn't believe it. The video director said that Holly was really bad in the beginning, much too stiff and too mechanical. Mrs. Bloomingdale said that Perry was a little too over- energized and Niki and Jennifer thought his walk was boring. And they are safe instead of Ronnie, who did well in every challenge of this week, just because he didn't "stand out"? So I just have to pray twice as much so that Casey gets eliminated next week. No offense to Casey, but I need my two gay boys in that finale! So Casey, it's time to pack your bags and get the hell out of gay mansion because the cutest couple ever is not going anywhere.
I'll skip that whole Adnan Ghalib story.